


A new kind of guilt

by sihaiya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Comfort Sex, Eruriren Week, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Slight Character Study, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism, eruri established relationship, slight orgasm delay, slight praise kink, top!Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:04:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sihaiya/pseuds/sihaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>eruriren week<br/><strong>Day 4:</strong> "Bruises And Bitemarks" / <strong>Day 6:</strong> “A New Hope”</p>
</blockquote><br/>The night after the 57th expedition both Eren and Levi are searching for their Commander's support. Basically a smutty oneshot with a bit of characters study to celebrate the eruriren week.
            </blockquote>





	A new kind of guilt

**Author's Note:**

> It's rushed and it's not revised how much I wanted but time at my disposal was little and in spite of all I had to join the eruriren week celebrations ('cause you know, the holy trinity is my main ship), so here you are.
> 
> As usual sorry for the probable mistakes, but English is not my native language.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own SnK, all characters and references are property of Hajime Isayama.

The silence in the castle, if possible, is deeper than usual. If before the expedition there was enough space for all of them and more, now that the number of the scouts is drastically reduced the empty rooms and the enveloping silence echoing in the hallways is almost suffocating.

The 13th Commander of the Scouting Legion, Erwin Smith, is in his bed, sitting pensive against the bed's headboard, reorganizing his thoughts about the disastrous and just elapsed day. Sure he's been able to demonstrate his theory about the existence of others titan shifters, but their failure in capturing the female titan and the death of a good part of his men put him in a precarious position against the higher ranks.

Right now, however, he's more concerned about the well being of two of his men in particular. While about what already happened he doesn't have the power to do anything, his thoughts bring him inevitably to Eren and Levi.

It's strange how in just over a month the young titan shifter has become so important to him, and not because he's for real Humanity's Last Hope, even if having created that nickname for the boy makes him very pleased with himself, but because without even doing it on purpose he slipped under his skin. Remembering his boiling anger and his determination have strengthened him and made him unable to forget why he does what he does, why he have to fight and, more importantly, find the truth to atone the sin of his father's death, enhancing his purpose and making him able to bear the burden of his decisions without regret to a brand new level, with the same determination he has seen in those turquoise eyes. It's something for which he has become almost addicted, something he repays encouraging the boy with warm smiles and kind words of support and comprehension, 'cause the walls only know how much he's pressured by his role and peculiar abilities and already kept in line by Levi not to need more of this attitude even by his Commander.

And this brings back to his mind Levi: Erwin actually is waiting for him tonight, he knows it's going to happen, he just have to wait till he's going to be ready to give up. It all started after the expedition subsequent the death of his two friends, when he found him in the common showers, in the dead of night, sitting naked under the freezing spray of water, evidently unable to bear with the death of always more comrades to which he became unintentionally attached: that night the Commander didn't offered him words of comfort, he knew him too well and he knew he would have rejected them, and so he offered him what the smaller man wordlessly asked him for, jumping him with glacial anger, demanding for rough comfort sex on the wet floor, without talking, without crying, without even look into his eyes, only sinking his small candid and perfect teeth in his broad shoulder to muffle his moans as the blond sank deep inside of him, both of them expiating with the pain the death of their comrades and at the same time celebrating with the pleasure the guilty and exhilarating feeling of being still alive.

After that time it has become an habit, something they don't speak about so often but that both of them know they're willing to do again and again, every time it's needed, every time what they are going through threat to overwhelm them, every time they cannot express with words the strict bond that tie them but still want to remember that it exist. And this is why now Erwin is waiting for him: today Levi's squad died because of him, because he ordered him to wasting his time to refill his gas, because he suspected that something would go wrong, as indeed happened, and so he's here now, ready to take responsibility for those deaths as for dragging Levi into the Legion years ago, forcing him to live this situation countless times.

When he hears someone knocking at his door, however, he's surprised. Levi doesn't knock, he made a point in arriving always unannounced, a little habit he has kept from his first period in the Legion, when he was still a beautiful little and riotous stray cat still unable to understand how useful he could be for humanity, how much Erwin was captivated by his perfect grace and how he, and also the Legion, were not a threat but an opportunity for him.

"Come in." He simply answers with a loud tone, without leaving the bed, sure his voice can reach the newcomer given that his quarters are not so huge and the bedroom door is open. At this hour of the night he expects to be faced by Hanji or maybe Mike and is not that they haven't see him shirtless and wearing only his pajama pants, so he's for a moment weirded out when he sees a chestnut brown mop of hair followed by a pair of turquoise eyes peeking shyly through the door of his bedroom.

"Commander. Pardon me." Eren is obviously embarrassed by the unusual situation, but despite this he straightens his back and his shoulders, saluting. "You told me to come in so I thought I wasn't going to disturb you but you weren't in the study, so..." He justifies himself, looking away from the older man, who is still sitting on his bed half naked.

Once he woke up from his comatose sleep and remembered the events of the day the boy started wandering through the almost empty castle, too afraid about Levi's reaction to the apologies he felt he owes him to go in search of his Captain, but still in need of comfort, or at least of someone to vent to. He also didn't want to wake up Mikasa or Armin and burden them with his guilt and dark thoughts about the futility of his existence and so he eventually decided to go to the Commander's quarters as last resort, remembering how the man always had for him an encouraging word or some nuggets of wisdom to soothe his insecurities.

Seeing said men, however, half naked in his bed, suddenly had made him forget his own problems and even the guilt he was feeling towards Petra and the rest of the squad, abruptly flooded with memories of almost a couple of weeks before. He was half lost in one of the most remote parts of the castle in search of the cleaning products storage when he heard coming from a near hallway a muffled moan: since he wasn't so naive as everyone seemed to think of him of course he knew what kind of scene to expect from beyond the corner, but he hadn't been able to resist the curiosity, internally hoping to find someone of his graduate comrades in a compromising position to obtain material for a playful blackmail and a bit of mockery. What he hadn't expected to face was a trouserless Captain, legs fastened together around the chest of his partner and wrists locked on top of his head by the iron grip of the Commander's hand, the latter pounding mercilessly the smaller one into the wall. The sight had left him mesmerized: to his own surprise he hadn't felt embarrassed neither jealous of what was happening between them, but rather kind of aroused and a bit disappointed by not being able to take part to that show of a perfect bond.

From that day he hadn't been able to watch his two superiors with the same eyes. Until that time he worshipped them due to their reputation and their skills, but also - after getting to know them a bit more - for different reasons: if the Commander was always able to make him feel human and above all cared for, sometimes with a simple word, others with an encouraging smile, the Captain had become his anchor, the one with who he wasn't afraid to be a monster, trusting him to accept him for all he was and stop him in case of need. After that day, however, his feelings towards them had become confusing and more than once he found himself in the middle of the night, locked in the basement, touching himself to those memories, imagining to be still there, watching them or maybe reaching them...

And so now he's here, staring at the floor, drowning in a new kind of guilt, the one rising from the consciousness of having to mourn the dead but of not being able to do so because of his shameless thoughts.

"It's ok Eren, you're not disturbing me." The voice of the Commander compels him to look up at the other's face to find on it a sympathetic tiny smile waiting for him. "I know it's been a tough day, but taking on you the entire blame for what has happened will not make you feel better and also it wouldn't be fair, so if you're here to tell me you're sorry I beg you not to do it because I'm the one who should apologize to you."

"But sir--" The boy starts, before stopping his words seeing the older man getting up from the bed and motioning to him to come closer.

"No buts. I'm the one who planned the expedition, I knew that what happened would happen and I let it be because I needed to be certain you're not the only shifter." His voice is low and calm and Eren can feel the bass of his tone caressing him, soothing him, locking him in place like a dazzled animal while the other man is closing the distance between them. "I'm the one who should apologize to you for having used you as bait, but you did well, you've been such a good boy."

And this is when the young titan shifter knows for sure he's screwed up, utterly and beyond any repair. And not because he let himself hug his Commander's bare chest in search of comfort, but because his praising words are reminding him of his father and at the same time making him shiver because of something he's quite sure he shouldn't feel towards a fatherly figure.

He let the blond gently caress his hair, reveling in the sensation of feeling safe and cared for, when a sharp voice and its characteristic sarcastic tone makes him jolt in surprise.

"What a lovely sight."

Levi closes the door behind him not failing to notice the meaningful smirk that lingers barely visible on Erwin's lips: he had become quite sure that the blond was up to something even before entering the room, when he heard the Commander talking with Eren with the low voice he reserves for the most intimate moments between them and that evanescent smirk only confirms his assumptions.

Both are by now aware for some time of the glances the boy launches to them when he thinks he's not seen, they've even fantasized a couple of time about letting him join their little rendezvous, because he's so transparent in his emotions and desires to let them be sure that he could at least consider it, but from there to think about actually doing it...

For sure the Captain wouldn't mind it, or rather, he would love it. His relationship with Erwin has by now become something deeper than the initial simple comfort sex from where they started: the Commander has become his safety in the midst of the storm, the one taking the blame for his failures, saving him in this way from the regrets and above all the only one seeming to understand him all round, even in those aspects that didn't make him less monstrous than Eren. For this very reason Erwin understood long before Levi knew it how if he was the one able to make him not look behind him, to the past, someone else was instead the one able to make him look to the future, to make him hope. And being the great man he is, once figured this out, he told his Captain he was ready to take a step back, leaving him free rein in courting the boy. Pity that Levi wasn't able to accept his offer: despite yearning for the green-eyed brat - probably as much as the Commander himself, even though the blond would never admit it, not even to his trusted playmate - he wasn't willing at all to let go what he already had.

But tonight maybe... maybe tonight is going to change everything, he thinks, raising a hand to start undoing the buttons of his shirt, gaze fixed on Erwin, deliberately ignoring the presence of the boy despite he's actually standing between the two of them, currently struggling in embarrassment after having get rid of the Commander's embrace.

"I… uhm… I suppose it's better for me to go."

The dark haired man can hear the younger one quickly approaching the door but persists in ignoring him till he has get rid of his shirt and folded it.

"You can leave or you can stay and enjoy the show, I don't really care. The door is not locked, so the choice is only up to you." He states with a bored tone, starting to unfasten his trousers, still without directing his visual attention to the boy.

"B-but sir!" The titan shifter voice is tinged by bewilderment and maybe by a bit of dismay. "I'm not gonna intrude your relationship with the Commander!"

Levi hears Erwin chuckle almost silently, sign that with these words he also had confirmation that Eren already knew about their private intercourses.

"You know Eren, Levi is here for some comfort exactly like you, only that for him this has little to do with cuddling and much more with other activities." The Commander explains with a soft calming voice, reaching the bed and sitting on it, evidently deciding to play along Levi's line of conduct. "So your Captain is sincere when he says he doesn't care for your presence, rather I actually think he would enjoy it."

The boy let run his gaze between the two: they're now both ignoring him and Erwin is helping the other one to get rid of his underwear, freeing his half hard member just before he climbs him, straddling the older man and starting to kiss him with feral voracity. Eren can feel his mouth drying and he knows he shouldn't be here, he really shouldn't, but suddenly he's unable to remember why, finding himself wondering which social rule requires him to leave when his commanding officers granted him permission to actually live in first person what he has only dared to fantasize about. Moreover what harm can he do just looking, making himself small, silent and without disturbing them? It's a hard decision, but with his own hardness starting to grow in his pajama he's really by now unable to really think about leaving and so he let his back slide along the door, sitting on the floor, sure his legs are going to fail him if the scene before his eyes is going to endure.

The boy almost holds his breath, trying to remain unnoticed even if he's not sure it's really necessary since the two on the bed seem completely taken by themselves. The Commander had flip his position under the other one, lifting him and laying him down on the mattress with such ease to make the titan shifter shiver at the thought of the strength in those arms, and now he's travelling his chest with his mouth, fiercely nibbling at his skin, descending along a path that is clearly bringing him to the Captain's groin.

It's something beautiful and mesmerizing and Eren finds himself unable to look away: it's not only the opportunity to see the objects of his more perverted thoughts in such intimacy, but is also the look in the Commander's eyes, so dark and tempting, and the low moans escaping from Levi's lips, sounds he never thought he could hear coming from a man always so impassive, small wonders to his ears making this so much better than any peak of his wildest imagination.

The moment when Erwin engulfs Levi's erection with his mouth, starting to work at it with lewd sucking sounds, the titan shifter barely realizes that his hand has descended along his chest to palm his junk, squeezing it in search of a bit of relief. The boy's gaze is completely engrossed by his two superiors while he follows with rapture Erwin coating his fingers with something he searched for into his nightstand: he perfectly knows what's coming next and he can't avoid to lean towards them, foretasting it.

When the Commander's first finger disappears inside Levi's body, Eren needs all his will not to moan along the smaller man, his hand now trapped inside his pajama pants, absent-mindedly caressing his hardness. The scene has something intoxicating: seeing the Captain abandoning his usual composure, dropping his glacial mask and letting himself drowning in his sensations is something he thought he would never see, something he knows will not make him look at the man in the same way again, but not with less respect than before, rather if possible with more, because he finally understood more of his real character.

His uncontrolled stream of consciousness is however abruptly interrupted by Erwin who, shifting his position, accidentally covers his sight with his broad figure. Is a matter of moments before, without even realizing it, the boy starts to crawl towards them, overwhelmed by the need to see more, to see everything, even the smaller shade of emotion on the Captain's face, even Erwin's minimal gesture, each of which make his upper half pulsate in such a mesmerizing way.

It's only when he's barely at few inches from the Commander, a hand partially lifted in the act of reaching his body, that he realizes that maybe, maybe the older man covered his sight on purpose, because although up to this point he had seemed completely unaware of the boy's presence, now he turns towards him with clouded eyes and a faint sly smirk.

"Up for a taste?" He ask, moving a bit to the side, leaving for him enough free space to be able to take place between him and the edge of the bed, where the Captain is still legs spread, a couple of fingers buried inside him.

Eren puckers his lips, taken aback for a moment, but thinking how now it's laughable to hold back above all because he still doesn't see the reason why. All he can manage to do, however, is to shift his focus on Levi's face, silently searching for consent, unable to express with words the turmoil of feelings and sensations that are currently overwhelming him.

The raven-haired man is heavily breathing, but somehow he's able to control his voice, shaping it in his usual deadpan tone. "Ever done it before?"

It's somewhat amusing how the boy's actions and his words don't match as he says he did things before, shaking however his head in deny: it makes Levi snort and Erwin smile with a shade of fondness while he hints with his head to the lube still leaning open on the mattress near him.

"It's good you have yet to learn." The Commander starts with his low enveloping and heating voice, following with his eyes the boy, now back to his determined self, coating his own fingers and taking place between him and the Captain with anticipation. "This means you have no bad habits from previous experiences."

"Come on! You two can chitchat later." Levi snarls, pushing his hips forward to urge the fingers still inside him to do something. "Just put yours in with Erwin's, he'll show you."

Eren cannot help but laugh, now finally relaxed, fulfilling the older man order with a playful 'yessir'. The boy starts following his superior's rhythm, letting slide his fingers in the tight heat of Levi's body in pace with those of the other man, guided by suggestions whispered in his ear with a husky voice. It doesn't take long before the enormity of the situation began to overwhelm him: on one hand the Captain, who has started again to softly moan, and this time because of him, because of his fingers, even if still leaded, and on the other one the Commander, who is no longer limiting himself to suggest him when crook his fingers, but who started to cover his neck with soft kisses, still whispering between one and another, making him shiver with a need so strong he starts to slightly tremble.

"Beautiful, isn't he?" Erwin asks to the young shifter, stopping the kisses to hint at the man spread beneath them before returning to his previous occupation. "You're doing so well." He resumes whispering, so tempting, this time not only kissing but also nibbling at his skin. "You're such a good boy."

Eren simply nod, unable to form words or even thoughts that make sense. Being praised this way, with such a lustful tone, is actually making him lose his residual control and he doesn't even notice that Erwin's fingers have left his alone until when he is startled by the Commander's now free hand, which takes hold of the edge of his pajama pants and starts to pull them down. The boy opens his mouth, furrowing a bit his brow, but the older man swiftly envelops his cock with his other slick hand, cutting off any possible complaint and pulling out from the boy a deep pleased groan.

"I need to lube you up if you want to take our Captain." The Commander explains, still murmuring on his neck, starting to stroke him with painfully slow movements, making the boy lose control over his body, moaning again and stopping his fingers from pleasing the man beneath him.

"Holy fuck. I'm still here, you know?" Levi blurts out after a couple of moments, clearly annoyed, kicking the blond to get his attention. "Less talk, more fuck."

Erwin bursts into an amused laughter and then leaves the boy free from his grasp. "You heard him Eren, he's all yours." He states before getting up from his kneeling position beside the boy and crawling on the bed towards the raven-haired man face. His lips stretch into a satisfied and cunning smile when Eren makes his way into Levi's body, climbing on the smaller man, lifting his hips for a better access and making him burst in a fulfilled moan, only partially muffled by the Commander's kiss. "Tonight is for you my beautiful wildcat, tell me what you want."

"Let me su--" Levi can only breath out those two words before moaning again, arching his whole body to match the titan shifter's thrusts. "Shit. Right there. Good boy."

Erwin chuckle again before practically straddling the Captain's head, facing the green-eyed boy and raising an hand to claim his attention while between his legs a greedy pair of lips starts to trail along his length before engulf it. Levi's body arches beneath them, trying to remain easily accessible to both, while the other two starts to share a heated kiss, Eren moaning inside Erwin's mouth, clearly by now close to his end. Telling the truth also the Commander feels like he's going not to last so long, Eren's addiction to their usual play has in fact overheated him since the beginning and so when he feels Levi's body start to tremble under him, evidently near to his end, he grabs the Captain's cock at his base, squeezing it.

"Not yet my dear, be patient." He grunts before starting to actively pursue his own pleasure, thrusting into the man's mouth, knowing that he's able to take it.

Eren is the first one to let go, coming with a strangled cry, hands clawing Levi's hips as to remain grounded in reality, and then Erwin frees from his grasp the Captain's member, letting him release himself all over his stomach while he's spilling inside the man's mouth, trembling with the effort not to scream just like the boy who is meanwhile collapsed over Levi, barely supporting himself on his arms not to crush him.

With a sigh of pleasant relief the three detangle their bodies before lying on the bed, still groggy from the afterglow. Erwin, knowing this peace will not last long because of Levi's need to clean up, takes the opportunity to make him nestle against is chest, cuddling him with a lazy hand while he lays his other one on Eren's shoulder, noticing how he has hinted at wanting to roll out of the bed.

"You're more than welcome to stay, you know?" The Commander mumbles, trying to fight the sleepiness that is overpowering him. "And I don't mean only tonight." He adds, feeling the need to clarify the situation for the boy.

His words make him earn himself a grunt of agreement by Levi and a wide drowsy and content smile by Eren, who decides to settle his back against the free side of the Commander's chest with a loud yawn, using his arm as a pillow.

It takes only a few minutes before the boy starts muttering softly, clearly half asleep. "Commander? Next time... next time could I top you?"

The bewildered silence that follows his words is broken by Levi, who barks out a brief rasping laugh. "Good luck kiddo. It took me years to get there."


End file.
